Can you?

Can you wake up to the morning light?

With the song of birds and the silent air,
Dew drops falling from leaves bent to ground,
Sweet sun rising beneath orange clouds.

Darkness and light mingled in play,
Neither dark, nor light,
where the mind just stays?

Can you lay back,and witness the sky,
In its majestic blue shine,
The light that never lies.

Nor pretends, or imagines,
Neither judges ,nor examines,
The sky, just is!

Can you just be?

The tree and the wind

As the wind blows
I spread my arms,
I sway in joy,
And ecstatic freedom.

With roots embedded,
In great mother earth,
Unbridled, I dance,
To the music of god.

The leaves they flutter,
My branches swirl,
Not holding on,
Like a dancing girl.

It may be breeze
Or a violent storm
I do not fear
That I might fall

For fall I may
Uprooted to ground
As a sad remnant
Of erstwhile splendor?

Yet sway in Joy
And ecstatic freedom
I know not death
But only Life!!

A friend and an Enemy

Once upon a time
I met a friend,Who guided
Entertained Loved
And Never complained.

Gave the joy's of earth,
and great sensous pleasure
So afraid i was
of losing her frame.

But one fateful day
She pushed me in a well
I sweared I would kill her
Send her to depths of hell

The anger rose
And then took over the guilt
What an utter failure I was
To trust her so blind

Not worth living I was
And took out my knife
To stab myself to death
Even before I fell

As the bottom grew near
And I knew I would drown
I raised the suicide weapon
In rage I pushed it down

Only to be stopped by a light
A light of great wonder
I found myself floating
In a heaven deep under

And there I met the friend
Or was she an enemy
She smiled at me,as I thought

Dear my friend ,
There was never a friend
Nor an enemy
It was only you

There just was and is , what always is!!!

Life

I am a pool of deep water

I am old age

I am the warrior’s sword

A ship’s broken sail

I am a raging fire

An endless plague

I am the earth that shakes

The flood that raids

I am a simple fall

I end all your suffering

In your funeral pyre

And yet you fear me

Let me come to you

Even as you live!

Babu and his friends

Babu was a good kid. He listened to his parents and his elders. He used to go to school dressed neatly and was always polite .But none of his teachers in fifth standard really liked him. His teachers would keep punishing him all the time. He knew it was his fault. He would find the classes too boring, preferring to watch the blue sky through the windows and listen to the birds and squirrels.

He had great friends though. They all were really cool. Satya was the class topper and a science genius. Rahul was from a rich family and had been to many foreign countries. Ranjit was a sportsman and excellent cricket player. Akhil was big and strong, but was extremely lazy and always kept sleeping, even in the classroom. Akhil would usually accompany Babu, as both of them would be punished all the time and would have to stand outside of the classroom.

And Babu, well Babu was talented. He would answer questions in the class and was good at anything he did. But he never really thought about it. Satya told him he had no ambition while Ranjit said he lacked killer instinct. But he never really understood what they meant.

It was a fine monday morning. The geography teacher was taking a lecture on Spain. Babu as usual soon found himself drifting off and started looking at the airplane that just flew past. There was an eagle, gliding just behind the airplane, like a shadow beneath the deep blue skies lit up by the sun, brighter than usual. The eagle never flapped its wings like the other birds. It seemed to glide in a circle as it went under some clouds. The clouds formed many different shapes and looked strong and hefty. Just like Akhil he thought, and smiled to himself. The rains are coming soon he thought. He noticed a mynah, tweeting, just outside the window. It had black feathers and skin and bright glimmering eyes surrounded by a thin yellow lining and a beautiful yellow beak. It seemed to be calling out from the window. "Come here Babu" it seemed to say. Completely forgetting where he was Babu just stood up still and smiled and ran towards the bird.

This was it. The geography teacher has had enough. She accosted Babu and scolded him, " What are you doing you foolish boy? I won't tolerate this indiscipline." This time he was scared and a bit irritated but his presence of mind took over. "Mam it was Akhil. He was sleeping and had almost begun to snore. So I tried to wake him up".

"Uff! Both you boys have created too much trouble for long. Get out of the class, now. You will stand for the entire day near the school gate. Out, out. Now!!"

Not too bad, thought Babu, but big Akhil, who had suddenly woken up from his sleep was angry and gave him a threatening look, and all Babu could give back was a sheepish smile.

"Don't worry; the watchman's bench is there near the garden at the school entrance. You can sit there and sleep peacefully under the shade of the tree", he whispered. Akhil was glad and smiled back at him.

No sooner, both of them found themselves standing at the entrance. A few girls giggled at them and a few teachers were giving angry looks. But it hardly seemed to matter. While Akhil had almost started snoring, Babu just noticed a beautiful white flower in the garden. It had a lot many petals, and it was a very large flower. Babu kept staring at it for long, his mind going completely blank, mesmerised by its beauty, until all of a sudden he heard a voice. “Why are you here Babu?"

As if woken up from a trance Babu looked around to see there was no one. Was it Akhil, was he trying to play a prank or something. Well no, he still seemed to be snoring. "Where are you looking Babu? Its me the flower talking to you." The flower? Oh yes of course the flower. The flower was talking to him.

"Oh , hi. Did I err..wake you up? I was staring at you for a long time ...I know. But I couldn't help it. You are so beautiful!"

"Thank you . You are wonderful as well. Then.. tell me, why are you standing here? "

"Oh that was the teacher. Its a punishment. For err.. looking outside!", he said with a smile on his face.

"Punishment?? What is a punishment?"

" err...Hmm. How do I explain. Well, do you remember how they keep cutting off your branches each time you grow beyond the fence, or grow out of shape? Well that is punishment"

"Oh! punishments. Yeah I have heard of it. We are all surprised. We are only trying to spread our fragrance; I don't see why we need punishment? But strange are the ways of you human beings."

"Are you angry?"

"Angry? i don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh have you ever tried to tell other people? Like you are talking to me just now?"

"Oh loads of times. They all seem deaf though. First time I have seen a boy who is not deaf."

"Is it. I am not so sure. I am sure my friends can hear you as well. Wait."

"Akhil, you sloth bear! Wake up, wake up. I want to show you something".

"What you idiot, don't wake me up again." said Akhil as the bell rang. It was lunch break and all his friends walked towards the garden with the lunch boxes. " Oh great. now I can show them all", thought Babu.

"Here comes, Satya. Certainly he would be able to listen to the flower".

"Hi, Babu. So what have you been up to. What do you think you were doing. Running towards the window like that. The geography teacher is very strict you know. She is not going to give you good grades now."

"Err. Don't bother about it. I want to show you something. Come here quickly. Hey flower, this is Satya. He is very intelligent, and great at biology. I am sure he would hear you."

"Hi Satya. Can you hear me?", exclaimed the flower.

"What are you doing you stupid oaf. Talking to a flower?? Standing in the sun has made you go bonkers."

"So you can't hear the flower?"

"Which flower?"

"Err.. this one the big white one with the many petals"

"Oh this one. Its a 'Chrysanthemum indicum'. Often called mums or chrysanths. Its a perennial flowering plant in the family Asteraceae, native to Asia and northeastern Europe. And I am sure it can't talk.", nodded Satya , with a grin on his face.

"Well you seem to know a lot about it. I wonder why you can't hear it!"

“Confirm. You are crazy. Come let's eat lunch."

" Maybe Akhil can hear, but he is always sleeping and I certainly can't disturb him when he's eating" ,he said and both of them laughed out loudly as Rahul walked in with his "high tech transformers" lunch box.

"Whatya you idiots? What's the joke, come on share it with me!"

"Err. Rahul, our friend Babu heard this flower talking. And he claims it is talking to us as well and we just can't hear it. ha ha."

"What? This big white one. "

"Yes, Rahul.trust me. Wait i'll ask her to talk to you as well. Dear flower. Look this is Rahul. He has been to many countries and seen a lot of things. I am sure he can hear you. ", said Babu.

"Hi Rahul. How are you?" , the flower obliged.

"What the hell happened to you dude. Yes I have been to many places. And this includes the Alahambra gardens in Europe, and the worlds biggest garden in UAE. I have seen flowers of all shapes sizes and colours. I have seen flowers that can eat insects. None of them could talk. And you expect this ordinary flower in our school to talk??"

Babu was disappointed. His only hope was Ranjit now. And somehow he knew Ranjit won't be able to hear the flower as well.

But Ranjit wasn't even prepared to listen to him. "Shut up you idiot. I am not going to listen to any of your flowers. I have a match with the section B team tomorrow, I need to finish my lunch quickly and go practise. We need a good batsman and you better come along and play for us. We must win this match and show those guys their place and you would be a match winner for us."

"Allright, as you wish.", said Babu, resigned to his fate now. He really was worried why none of his friends could talk to the flower. He decided to set this straight.

"Hey, flower. I'll meet you after school and don’t disappear eh. I need to ask you some questions." The flower gave a nod and a smile, as Babu proceeded for lunch with his friends. As they attacked the sleeping Akhil's lunch box, Akhil woke up and snatched it away. They all laughed out together, as Akhil stuffed his mouth with the maggi.

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It was evening now. The school was almost empty except for the staff cleaners and the watchman. It looked entirely different as the sparrows chirped along on the dead leaves beneath the oak tree and the evening breeze blew freely along, filling Babu with pleasure and happiness and a deep silence. He walked calmly towards the flower which surprisingly looked as fresh as it was in the morning. He had a lot of unanswered question in his mind, by they could wait. The flowers astonishing beauty was still there, and he couldn't help but be mesmerised.

"Oh Babu! You are back. I was expecting you, or else I would have withered away usually by this time of the evening."

"Wow. You waited for me. Thank you!"

"How could I not, you love me so much and so do I. I couldn't wither away since you wanted to talk to me."

"Thanks I am glad you . I have a few questions please!"

"Go ahead!"

"I am worried. I can hear you talk. But none of my friends can. Am I like.. weird?"

"Err..On the contrary i think your friends are weird"

"What?? No no, Satya you saw him. He is a genius. He is in fifth standard and he knew your biological name and everything about you. How come He couldn’t hear you. I'll vouch that he ain't weird at all."

"Biological name??? I don't have a biological name. It’s you humans who have given this name. It means nothing to me."

"Hmm. And what about Rahul? He has seen so many different flowers and none of them talk it seems."

"Well i am sure they all do. But If he can't hear me talk how would he listen to the other ones, eh? And as far as your friend err.... Ranjith right? Well he was too busy thinking about something he had to do after lunch. Some cricket match. He didn't even bother to look at me. How do you expect him to listen?"

"Yeah. I know what you mean. Akhil as well. He was also too busy sleeping. But you still haven't explained why Satya and Rahul didn't hear you. They tried to listen. "

"Are you sure they did. Look at Satya. He didn't even watch me closely enough before he told my biological name or something. He was saying things about me I didn’t even know."

"Ha ha. Yeah something like 'family Asteraceae, native to Asia' and all that stuff."

"Of course. His mind was too busy, in continuous chatter. I don't expect him to hear anyone, forget a flower like me whom very few listen to.”, said the flower with a naughty yet compassionate smile.

Babu smiled back. He still had questions though.

"What about Rahul. He aint having anything to do with biology!"

"Oh that boy. He is living in the past. And full of pride. I could sense it. He kept talking about some beautiful garden he had seen. From his memory. But he fails to see my beauty that lies in front of him. All the time."

Babu semed to understand. He did not feel weird anymore. He felt reassured. And he was always happy.

He had always thought as the flower did. Whenever Satya was tense over his grades or Ranjith was all worked up after a cricket match he wondered what their problem was. Rahul on the other hand was always in an imaginary world of his travels, adventures and high tech toys, while Akhil was the one to be pitied most. He never woke up from sleep.

He bid the flower good bye and walked back to his bicycle with his school bag. The same mynah that had tweeted near the classroom window, was now sitting on his cycle's handle. He smiled at it. It seemed to give him a look, tweet, and suddenly flew away fluttering its wings vigorously towards the green tinged evening sky, with the sunset beneath. As he glanced upward, he somehow knew it all at that moment, in his heart. It was all, in one simple word, universal.

Silent beauty

Early sunrise, Eyes awake,
I took the limber down the hill.
Dewy fog and tress in yonder,
The silent beauty engulfed the space,
With the laughter of birds and the tweets of squirrels,
The scent of air, an elixir of life.

In silent beauty I stood, admired,
To realise,
As the sun came down upon the leaves,
Brightened my soul, I saw,
I was a part of it all.
I was it all.

The Truth! Cont...

In my last post I talked about our ego and how it has led to misery and brutality in the world. The next question that would arise if we are sincere enough is, what has the world to do with me. Let me share a few insights that I have learnt.

The first question is,

What is society? Is it the "society", that we live in or is it that, "we form the society"? Society is the matrix of interrelationships among people. Among me and you, among people from various strata, among man and woman, rich and poor, hindu and muslim, among all those divisions that we have created.

It is an oft repeated concept , the concept of the absence of any diference between people, the concept of unity, "hum sab ek hain" you know. We can all hear the slogans, repeated by politicians, revolutionaries, school plays, the movies and yet we fail to actually realise it as a fact.

You know what it is to realise something to be a fact? Maybe when you think you are particularly good at something, say a game, say table tennis. You haven't been beaten before by anyone, you always know you actually are not that good You always feel you havent just met better players. But the fact is that you have not realized it yet. It happens the day you get badly beaten, beaten lock stock and barrel, your dumb ego comes crashing down and then there is true humity and "true realization". Before that it was just a false knowledge. Like an illusion you had created for yourself, the illusion that repeats over and over again, "I am humble" :)

Coming back to the concept of "unity" we need a similar moment of realization, that converts the concept into FACT, and until then it just remains what it is , "a concept" in your ego. It says, "I" believe in unity.

Its funny how it would also tell you, "I" think "I" should not have ego. "I' am humble. Can a rabbit not be a rabbit. If the rabbit tells itself I shall not be a rabbit, I shall be a lion, it would only go to the lions and be eaten up. :p

Similarly it is impossible for the ego to be "not ego". So acting out of ego you can never let go the ego !!

Where do we find an inspiration to lose it now, and what is the need for inspiration?

Let us look at the reasons for this "need for inspiration". It simple, have you ever listened to your favorite song? Have you ever looked at a beautiful scenery on the mountain tops?

Have you ever witnessed your "ego" in that state. Isnt it the most beautiful state where you lose yourself? It is the same state at the "moment of an orgasm" isnt it. You do not see any ego.

Have you ever been at an emergency situation,where you had to act immediately without thought! You might have had to do the weirdest thing to extricate yourself, you never felt ashamed I am sure, your ego was absent. So indeed it is possible to act out of ego. But when does the possible "happen".

It only happens when you see the urgency of it! When it is needed! and this is where I come back to our very first question "what is society?" And as I answered it is our interrelationships that make the society. We hate each other, we form groups and identities, we evolve group identities out of individual identities, we ARE the society. And when we see all the violence ,bloodshed, horrors which we conveniently sweep under the carpet everytime, hide ourself from, we shrink away from responsibility. We shrink away from acknowledging that which we have created, acknowledging "that which we are". We are not those who love, we are those who compete, we are those who like to see others fail and us succeed, you see you may say I want everyone to succeed, but alas the truth is that in the absence of another one's failure there is no success. And don't tell me chasing success aint bad, coz th real problem is with the definition of success, the kind of success that makes us nervous neurotic, fearful, unfree, anxious, miserable and a bundle of nervous energy ain't no success at all. Ever yearned for freedom???

So once we see our ego manifesting itself as horror in ourself and in the society, we automatically are alive to the very fact of our existence. Automatically should lose our ego.

Why do leaders arise under oppression, why does the ordinary become the extraordinary when faced with a grave hopeless situation. It is due to the very FACT that we ARE all extraordinary beings. We just remained disillusioned in ego and identities.

So my advice to myself and anyone else. Watch yourself! Observe the world. See its horror, DO NOT screen out. Observe and Acknowledge! Thats it.

The truth?

As I sit here almost a year has passed in this beautiful campus. Beautiful yeah, but its funny how many of us fail to relish, enjoy and appreciate the beauty of this place; it is much more untouched and unspoilt than otherwise by man.

I reflect upon what I have learnt here over the past year and it has been seemingly short of nothing. I have passed two terms, apparently done well in one term and yet haven’t learnt anything of substance that I couldn’t have learnt outside of here in books.

As I imagine the faces of over 300 students here, I see the truth reflect upon me. None of us have come here to learn. It has never been our forte, never been our motivation, and never been our outlook to learn something. Maybe we lost faith in learning a long time ago. Maybe back in school where we were punished for asking too many questions, or momma asking us to shut, up eat and go to sleep.

Or maybe it was more recent, some of us wanted to be heard, to be praised, looked upon with reverence. Some of us want money, others want fame, others want to satisfy their ego’s others are just plain afraid they will fall back in the race, always wanting to be running in the front; they wanted to be at front in an IIM.

On the other hand, I see the so called professors, I pity them. Most of them are here to keep their jobs, are here to satisfy their ego’s being an IIM professor, to run a family. Amazing so few rather not more than one or two love what they do. Love what they teach? You got to be kidding me.

Yeah we are all together here, we all love each other. We say hi dude, what’s up, we care. But most of us have this image of ourselves, you know. Some of us are the cool guys, some of us the intelligent some the achievers, others are the fun mongers; none of us are plain humans. We are all striving for this false identity here, we love playing this game don’t we. Can I say this to her, what would she think of me, I am supposed to be this or that, only then would I look cool won’t I?

I see so many are insecure here, hell you are in an IIM, you reached this far and you are hopeless and afraid, you are always worried about your image, your projected future as well as past image of yourself, in this huge circus. I guess the homeless kids on the streets should commit suicide.

Hell, you all are cool dudes, friends out here loving each other, partying, drinking, dude we rock, K rocks. And you’d be gnawing at each other one day, not on the outside of course, remember you have an image, you can’t show the fact that you are jealous can you? But you will be like a pack of dogs fighting over bones when placements come round. Till then we can all play this circus, this circus of self imposed images, false professors trying to teach, getting grades for doing whatever has to be done, maybe clean his shit even.

Success at all costs eh! Awesome, I’d have this and that, and what not “material want”. I’d be revered respected and feared. I am the beast. And the next thing you know your parents will die one day. Your wife might divorce you, your boss will abuse you, your car breaks down all the time, you need to finish the project or hell you’ll be chucked out of job, you need to get that promotion over the other bastard so suck up to the boss. My friend the game doesn’t end here, if you think it does and there is eternal peace in the yonder you are bloody mistaken and delusional. You re bloody deluded. Living in an illusion.

Wow, so what the hell does this guy want to say? He wants us to quit and leave and beg on the streets? He! Is deluded.

Well, apparently not. Quitting is in fact the biggest form of delusion.

What we must do and must see as a fact in front of us is, “what has led us to this madness?” This mass maniac behaviour, the same behaviour if you do observe carefully, has in fact destroyed all of mankind. It has made us kill each other. People make body bombs (killing little kids and sewing up bombs inside their bodies), slit each others throats, siphon of money from the poor, corruption, mass corruption, murder, rape, conning, and what not greater horrors we see in everyday life. Is it not the same psychological functioning that we right now exhibit, apparent in the behaviour of mankind? He kills in the name of “his” god, “his” religion,” his” great country, ”his” number one company, he wants to be the best, he can’t lose face amongst his community, he is “the dude” out there too, you know? Apart from the fact that he makes body bombs and kills little kids.

Is it not the same kind of mental process, that has made a mockery out of mother nature, people do not find clean water to drink, clean air to breath, of course there is no use of talking of these beautiful gifts of nature, when we have all got our video games and what not to make us forget something beautiful ever existed outside of brick walls and canned air.

How often do we find true love among man and woman all we find are looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend to show to our friends? Look, I have a boyfriend. He is from an IIM you know. It makes it all the easier if she has big boobs and where’s tight t shirts, makes it all the more easier to love her, and care for her and promise to stay with her all life :p . Of course there might well be a volcano waiting to erupt after you get married.

Where does this madness arise from? Well you find out and please do let me know where it does.

As far as I am concerned it’s the “ego” we have built up over all these years. We never” accept”, never” agree” never “observe” things as they are. We live in the past, in the future, never in the “now and here”. Never see the horror ,we screen out, never see the madness we screen out, never see the stupidity we screen out, we live in this “bundled sphere of nervous energy”, day in and day out “mar mar ke jee rahe ho yaar”. And this nervous energy is further replenished, fed, cuddled, patted, grown and blown up, day after day. Work hard, get placed build your ego. Work hard get a sexy wife build up your ego. Work hard, get promoted build up your ego. And we keep rising to greater levels of fear, neuroticism and nervous energy. Who cares we have beer to let go don’t we. Funny how we need a beer to be “our true selves”. Impotent creatures we are, fucking cowards.

Let me forget I exist, right now . I am no boy who wrote CAT or who wants to be an I-banker or a consultant. Let me not think about all that. Let me just see this marvel called earth. This beauty called the universe, these wonderful human beings it created, the brilliant technology we invented, the unbelievable power of human creativity and imagination, of curiosity and wonder.

Let me see, that I am nothing, I am a joke. A joke in this long period of human history, I count for nothing. Let me perceive this world with eyes, listen, feel and touch, feel wonderful.

I feel warmth in my bed I enjoy it. The gentle breeze in the evening I enjoy it, something new to learn I enjoy it, a new piece on the newspaper today I read in curiosity and wonder. I see a beautiful woman I do not compare her to anyone I just admire god’s creation. I read financial valuation I am awestruck at the power of mathematics. I am astounded at how a billion people are part of a single financial system where savings flow into useful investment through a wonderful banking system. Yes some people make indiscriminate money out of it, but that can’t be for long in an efficient market, wow could you have thought ever of an efficient market system, a market regulator? I search on Google and I am dumbstruck at the power of computing, of course I am sure Brin and Page didn’t discover Google because they wanted to become billionaires or hated their peers and were jealous or wanted to come first in class. Guess they plain saw the bloody usefulness of it, loved to code and were not afraid to go the distance. They had nothing to lose, hell, they had not image to live up to. They just plain lived, and had fun.

Of course you never had the time to think in this manner, there is an Indian economy quiz tomorrow and you need to read the notes and mug up the facts and figures so that you can contribute as a successful manager when you take business decisions in the future.

All the best to you, my dear friends. I do not see a bright future ahead for you (in the happiness index, not the GDP). But I still love you. I am sure not many of you would have read this piece objectively without making judgements and without having a preconceived image of the person who wrote it, or your own ideas. We are all afflicted by this disease you know, and we a re proud to stay ill, after all, it’s “our ego” at stake. Really can’t let it go, can we? J

But let me just quote John Lennon here, I think he put across all this much more beautifully, in the blockbuster hit song “Imagine”.

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Yeah sure John , you were not the only one.